Bonzie, I miss you like crazy!

I can't see you anymore, but can almost visualise you playing with God, sitting in his lap and then moving out, nudging him to run his hand through your hair, and then sitting right beside him, all content and watching him while he works on our fate.

I don’t know how to explain what it is like to not have you in our lives anymore. It’s a huge HUGE void and we all miss you like hell!

I SO badly want to hug you once more, play with you, tease you, pat you and see you shut those angel eyes as you go off to sleep. I don’t know what angels look like, but you are/were one - the sweetest and the prettiest angel who came into our life bringing numerous beautiful moments full of laughter, happiness and joy. Your eyes were the most beautiful and none of us could ever say no to you, because you always spoke with them. I always felt that you took upon you all our sorrows and sufferings and this realisation is now more painful than ever.

The house is empty without you and your absence is killing. My lil bonsai, I miss your tiptoeing from one room to the other, gazing at each one of us every morning, perhaps to see if we were all doing fine. You radiated so much warmth and added such pure magic to our lives. Suddenly we all feel bare without you, somethign is amiss - you, and life and home looks empty and not nice.

My mind keeps travelling back in time and remembering all the wonderful moments with you. The way you would hide, as a kid, under an almirah and mom would go all crazy looking for you. When we got you home some twelve years ago, you were our star! And we watched your every little move. I remember the first time you climbed a small step, we were all so elated. Whenever you would sneak out of home, we would spend hours looking around for you. And then suddenly you’d appear from somewhere, like God answered our prayers.

You always joined us in all our round-bed conferences, looking like a cuddable cute lil angel. And the way you would pull up our rajais in the winter and leave a warm peck on our faces to wake us up. Every time someone came back home after a long day, it’s you who expressed such euphoric excitement by running from one end to the other and jumping around endlessly. Whenever someone has been sick, you’d sit around for long hours offering such a hell lot of warmth and your support. Many times we have fought over you as each one of us wanted you to snuggle up next to us. Didn’t we all simply love you, our lil angel, doing that!

It was always so hilarious whenever you would chupke se eat all the cakes baked by others and lick away all the crème and when asked for feedback, we would say, Oh! Bonie simply loved them! And mah! You had such attitude! The nakhras that you would show before your plate of food was brought in front of you. You had to be lured to eat by displaying all kind of delicacies in your plate. There’s not a place I remember that you did not come along with us. We could barely imagine going on any trip without you. And now that you are not there, you can’t imagine how much we miss our white lil angel whose love for us was unconditional, whose support was undoubtable and whose compassion – simply unimaginable.

Bonsai, you were loved by ALL…...there's not a soul that was not touched by your charm. And I can’t tell you how much we miss you and will continue to miss you. Right now, its terribly painful…..but I pray to God that you get the best because you deserve just that. Your love for us was always so selfless and when everyone else would go bad, you were always there, just like an angel with those compassionate eyes telling us that its okay…..and it shall all pass. You have no idea what that meant to each one of us.

I hope you receive ten thousand times more love and joy than what you did in this birth. I pray that God blesses you with the most amazing people who can’t stop raving about you and love you as if you were their life. I wish you are showered with an extremely jazzy life that is the most beautiful, super rocking and full of endless joy. I hope God is listening as I wish the BESTEST of the best for my lil bonsai….. You were the purest and the softest soul I know and you don't deserve even an iota less.

You have left us and gone forever, and we will see you no more, but you are and will always be there and alive in our hearts and at home.

Amen!

Eclipse!

I am told this day is going to stand out in some way.
But I did not know, things are going to turn up THIS way!
Ive already got one surprise (*And I'm not SO shocked, really*).
The next I'll get to see in the evening.

Ill continue this post.......

7th Sep, 2006

Okay, so I pick up my surprise, shed a tear, drive down to a friend’s house, come back home, speak to mom, shut my eyes and I hit the bed. Mom tells me to forget as though it were a nightmare.

I’m flying in an airplane with mom and dad. I can see the plane has wings on either side. I notice that as we are ascending in the sky, the wings are moving strangely. I realize the plane is about to crash. I caution my mom and dad. In a few moments, I begin to see the descending trajectory. The plane crash lands, and as we hit the ground that seems like some shore, we rush out to save ourselves. We are on safe terrain.

We are back home. My memory has a few lapses here and I forget the sequence of events. I think there is some kind of a procession outside home and maybe I am a part of it too. I am not sure.

I go back in time, to where our plane crash-landed. All the people in the crash are here; they all want to save their lives. The crash was a ploy. There is a gigantic man in black clothes; people are offering him all their money and jewellery. There’s a huge pile of gold lying in front of him. Somehow, my dad manages to find an acquaintance and we are spared. The three of us are assigned rooms to stay. We approach the first room. It’s no. 28. It ‘s locked from inside. I knock on the door, no one responds. I bang the door. I wait a few moments. A young tired looking lady opens the door. She has the most exhausted expression and dark circled eyes. I look around her room. Darn! The walls are so close by and it’s so dingy and claustrophobic in there. I take a second look, there’s no way to escape. Perhaps she’s been here for years. I shudder for a bit, I think I may know this woman. She seems numb. I want to run away.

Gosh! What was wrong with me? Why was I being so silly? What made me take so much time?

I open my eyes . I see the moist glass window panes. The sun is up. I am awake!